Week 17HJ Just Sharing

Recently, during one of my sit-in I was given the green light to share a very personal experience. Before I share I must apologize to Mark, Davene, Trish, Derek and the guides all of whom have willingly given of their time and poured their hearts into making this experience possible for us to grow spiritually, personally and professionally. I must also extend my apologies to my fellow master mind alliance members for not keeping my word as it relates to blogging in a timely fashion. Yes, I understand it is a requirement which I must honor. Yes, I know the importance of sharing whether through the blogs or through the alliance area but I was experiencing something which I felt was personal and I could not write about it in any of the areas we are required to share. The question may have arisen as to what planet is she on, should we have her see a psychologist, a therapist, a coach? As I continued to wrestle with these feelings and emotions I knew the answer would come so I prayed and continued to do my readings and sit-in. Can I tell you that I wrote the blogs but chose not to post them as they were in my opinion substandard?
It started just before Christmas. What is it? A feeling, yes a feeling I could not shake and a feeling I could not explain. I felt heaviness in my spirit. The more I questioned what it was, the more questions arose. I did not share and felt I could not share with anyone. I continued to go through the motions of everyday activities. Have you ever been around people, family friends and felt alone, notice I did not say lonely but alone? I smiled and chatted during the holidays one would not have even questioned as to whether I was facing any challenges. You know what I mean when you smile and laugh but deep down on the inside you are questioning yourself, how long? What is it? I must note here that I was not sad or depressed and no it was not the weather either, it is a time of year that I truly enjoy. I wonder how many of you are going through something at the moment that you believe you cannot share for one reason or other.  Maybe you are wondering how you would explain the feeling. May I suggest just sit with it?  What is in the dark always comes to light.
I did all the things I knew to lift my spirit out of this unexplained feeling, I prayed, I sang praise and worship, chatted with friends as normal not stating anything about my feelings, I attended church services, that ought to take care of it. I continued reading Og Mandino’s Scroll III where we focused on persistence. I knew the answer will come and it did.  I will choose to call the experience spiritual growth where one is equipped for the next step on the journey called life.
The answer or relief came in the middle of January. it could have been the readings, the sits, a combination of it all.  Gradually I began feeling different. The heaviness was now lifted and I experienced peaceful happiness. It is ironic in that a few days later my aunt made her transition. Maybe I was being prepared for this season of my life as I had to be strong for the younger ones. I may never know the true reason for that heaviness but I am now enjoying that feeling of peaceful happiness.

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